Love and Loss

I am having such a hard time finding words to describe what it was like to be a part of Reagan’s life and death on this earth. Being a part of it all was exhausting and rewarding at the same time. Definitely an experience that I will cherish, both for the opportunity to meet my little niece and also to be there with my sister and her husband as they are walking this incredible journey that God has called them to take.

Unfortunately, I don’t have access right now to the amazing pictures that Molly Grace took during those 24 hours that Reagan was with us. However, if you click on the “Pray for Reagan” button on my sidebar, you can see Reagan’s blog and if you scroll through some older posts, you will see some of the many pictures that she took. I will share the few pictures that I took just to give you a glimpse, in case you haven’t seen her. I love the poem that Marceline chose to include in the program for Reagan’s service.

Love at First Sight
Before you were conceived
I wanted you
Before you were born
I loved you
Before you were here an hour
I would die for you
This is the miracle of life.
Maureen Hawkins

What a testament to the sanctity of life. It is so true. I don’t know about you, but in our family, Reagan Joy captured our hearts before she was even born. And, in Mar & Dan’s words, they would go through all of it again just to have more time with her.

Another lesson that I have learned is how helpful it is NOT to have all the answers sometimes. I think that, so many times, I just want to fix things for other people so that they don’t have to suffer or feel bad or whatever. But, you know what, there is a time to grieve and I can’t and don’t need to “fix” that. Even in the Bible, we see that there is grieving. We don’t grieve as others do, but we grieve with hope, hope for the future.

Sweet little Reagan Joy, I love you and miss you. I will not forget about you, but will always hold you close to my heart. I am so glad that Jesus can rock you in His tender care, but look forward to the day when I can hold you again too.

Love always, Aunt Karen